Day 2 of Portland friend Detox:

October 30, 2009 at 10:46 pm · Filed under Emotional/Personal, Portland Friends ·Tagged , , , , , ,

I feel better. I feel less like my life is slipping away in to nothingness. I feel less stupid, I feel less, less, addicted.

I still want to go on the forums. I keep thinking up games that I could post, PMs  I could send, people that I could tell that I love them.

I texted Megan for a while, but her attention span is short  and you can only do a few texts back and forth before she looses interest and stops texting you. I don’t take offence to it… anymore.

The best part of my day was C block (D block was pretty amazing as well XP, I’ll talk about it later). In C Block on blue days (every other day) I usually have PE, a class that is embarrassing, my physical condition is not good enough. I am embarrassed by the way I look, and the way I act.  It is painful physically, and emotionally.

But today, Mr. Whitly (my counselor) got me out of PE.

I am now in a mentoring program, in which I get to hang with and help out people with learning disabilities. We volunteer with them at places like the  humane society, or at the local parks picking up trash.

I adore doing things like that. I adore helping people, and I enjoy helping my community. Doing both at the same time, is amazing.

Another great thing is that I get a full high school credit even though I swapped half way through the year. Also, they have a mandatory club, and that counts as my extracurricular club that I need to be in yearly to graduate.

I love, love, LOVE this transition and I believe that it will make me like school almost 50 times more.

In Theater (my D block on blue days) we were doing make up. Theater make up. Of course, the place to start is always bruises and blood. Scars with screws in them.

So, we spend an hour and a half coating ourselves in fake bruises and blood. It was very fun, and I am beginning to gain friends in that class 😀

Well, my family has tickets to Evil Dead the Musical tonight, but all of my local friends have parties to go to. Parties that I wasn’t invited to.

Whatever. It’s fine. I just wish that I could go tonight, I mean, I’ve already seen in once, but I wanted to show it to my dad. My parents are both going. I’m not.

I’m also not doing anything on Halloween. I will sit around and wish I had friends. I wish my parents would let me go to Portland.

I really REALLY wish they would…

 

Love,

Katie/Sarge/Soundy

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Day 1 of Portland friend Detox

October 30, 2009 at 12:17 am · Filed under Emotional/Personal, Portland Friends ·Tagged , , , , , ,

I miss them so much.

I wrote their names in cursive on the back of my note book with: “I miss you so much” written above each of them.

My parents gave me my phone for the day. I can’t stop texting them.

I can’t help it. I miss them. I had a friend ask me how my Portland friends were. I said they were fine, but felt my eyes begin to water. I managed to keep from crying, but I just kpt wishing someone was there to hug me. That Tessa, Hailey, Megan, Amy, Fallon, JT, and Dakota were there to hug me. Even people I barely know would have been a plus from sitting there keeping my tears at bay, thinking of my friends from Portland.

I miss them, because I love them. I love them because they’re awesome.

I will not be going to Portland for Halloween like I wanted to.

I will not be going to Portland for a while, at least.

I don’t think I can do this… I miss them too much.

-Written in health class, when I needed to express myself. Since then I have been feeling better, but not great. I still miss them. I cheated though, and went on forums during Speech class. There is a thread titled: Save Soundy. It is a group of people trying to figure out ways to stay in contact with me. It is a place to rant about how much they miss me, and how things are different when I don’t come on.

I was so touched, but I need to stay offline. I have to. Until my grades get up, I will only blog. No more cheating. NO MORE. And Pat says I need to post something about local friends, so, here I go!

High Desert cosplay happens to be awesome, and they do help. But not enough. I love them too, I just happen to have friends other places, and when you hang out with people too much they start to get annoying.  So, I need LOTS of local friends. That is all, TAKE THAT PAT-

I miss them so much,

Soundy/Katie/Sarge

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-cries-

October 29, 2009 at 2:56 am · Filed under Emotional/Personal, School Related ·Tagged , , , , ,

Quote Soundninja12 via Kumoricon forums:

@ HAMS
You guys are addicting.
Like a drug, and if I don’t wean myself off you, I am going to OD and die.

I will be off the forums for a while

 

I don’t think that there is a possibility of you understanding why this made me cry. The forums, the kumoricon forums, are what I love to spend my evenings on. I met some of my best friends on these forums, and I love them, I LOVE THEM.

HAMS that’s what we like to call ourselves, Hailey, Amy, Megan, Soundy. I am Soundy.

We met a few months back at the Kumoricon anime convention in Portland Oregon. I have a single problem with these 3 girls being my best friends. They all live 3 hours away, over mountains. I spend most of my days texting them, or contacting them because I can’t forget them. I can’t forget how much I love them.

But with them living 3 hours away, I can’t see them. I spend too much of my time thinking about them, and not enough thinking about school, and local friends.

I don’t have many friends locally.

I want to have friends locally.

My parents want me to have friends locally.

My dad, especially, wants me to have friends locally.

He wants this so bad he took away my phone, and my access to the computer. He is letting me on for now, but for a short while.

So, I bid my friends ado.

I am going to miss them more than life it’s self, but I am sure that if I stayed addicted to them as I am now, I would have 0 friends.

I need to branch out as well here as I managed to do there.

I love them, so much, SO MUCH and I hope they understand that me leaving them is something I have to do. Something painful, that I’m going to have to do.

 

If any of you are reading this, I love you, more than you could ever imagine, and I want nothing more than to spend every waking hour in your company, but I can’t, for my own educational and social reasons.

I love you,

Katie

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Cosplay

October 15, 2009 at 12:43 pm · Filed under Cosplay, Emotional/Personal

This week is spirit week, and yesterday was nerd day. I wore a half  of my Mytho (princess tutu) cosplay.

A girl who used to be one of my best friends was really… not like she used to be. I asked her if she knew what character I was, and she responded with:

“No, and honestly, I don’t particularly care”

I shrugged it off, but when we were walking to our next classes, she said something that really got to me.

Upon mentioning that my wig was expensive and it didn’t want it to be ruined by the rain falling persistantly on my head, she said:

“Cosplay is expensive, isn’t it. I find it stupid”

I just looked at her for a moment. I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want to be mean, but she really had just insulted one of my favorite things. She’d just told me that my primary hobby was stupid.

I was insulted, no duh, but I managed not to say anything still.

Then she said something about how if I ever wanted to dress her up at my expense, that she’d be glad to do so…

Wait, what?
You think me cosplaying with my money is stupid, but if you cosplay with my money, than it’s completely fine?

Whatever….

~Katie

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Set ups, a do or a don’t?

October 9, 2009 at 12:10 am · Filed under Significant other related, Uncategorized

Today one of my friends approached me, and told me that she needed to show me something. I say “okay” and she pulls her phone out of her pocket. She shows me a picture of a boy around our age from the torso up. He has brown hair, short, a light color, with bangs falling just short of his eye brows. I would consider him cute, but I am around never one to judge by looks alone.

“He really needs a girlfriend” She says.

“Okay…”

“He’s a wrestling nerd, I think he has 2 of those model belt things”

“Okay…”

The girl next to me, Brooklyn, cuts in with:

“Is Katie his type?”

“She has boobs, doesn’t she?” She kind of snaps “He is pretty desperate”

By this time, of course, I’m begining to get offended.

Just because I’ve never had a boyfriend doesn’t mean that I will take anyone that someone throws at me. I may be on the desperate side, but that doesn’t make me a booty call, does it?

Just because I have never kissed anyone doesn’t mean that I want a kiss from just about anyone who will give it to me, does it? I don’t think it does.

I think that I don’t want to meet this guy. I think I might want to sock Nichole (the girl showing me this guy),

“So, Katie, want to meet him?”

I blink a few times, but being too much of a wimp to say no, I let the word escape my dried, cracking lips:

“Sure”

“GREAT!” She smiles, and turns to walk away “I’ll give you his phone number once I get it!”

“Thanks…”

O.O

What should I do?!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASYsKHWTK5I&feature=PlayList&p=EE6A778806A25554&index=2&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

O.O

Katie

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Introduction to me

October 8, 2009 at 11:23 pm · Filed under Emotional/Personal, School Related, Uncategorized

Hello, my name is Katie, and I’m a freshman in highschool.

If you really want to know anything about me, you should first know that I’m a cosplayer, but that isn’t the main part of my life. Although it is what I wish I could do all of the time. Have you ever had something you loved so much that you wished it would never end, that you could do this and only this for the rest of your life?

That is how I feel about cosplay. I wish that my photo shoots would never end, I wish I could stay in character for the rest of my life.

But when it comes down to it, I have to get back to school, get back to being Katie, and no longer Botan, or Renge.

Katie used to be really cool, really fun, really funny, but she’s changed. No, she hasn’t changed, everything else has, she’s stayed the same.

I always though that I was going to be surronded by people, forever and for always, but then I got in to high school and things changed. The group I hung out with in Middle School, managed to break in to 3 different groups.

1. The hippie chicks. The enviornmental ones, who love to walk, and hike, and sing. The ones who would be happy to head out to a lake to do some canoeing or some swiming.

2. The gossip girls. The girls that want to be the center of attention, the ones that just want people to like them, and would do anything to do so.

3. The people of the male gender. The guys, and I guess a few girls hang out with them, but for the most part it’s guys.

I knew that this would happen, but I never thought that I’d have to consiously choose. I thought that I’d just drift in to my group, but no dice. I guess that I’ll end up auto-choosing if I just hang out with whomever wants to hang out with me.

Whatever floats future me’s boat, I guess.

Here is a question that people are probably wondering:

“why did you decide to make a blog?”

Well, so I can see how I’ve changed. To tell the world that I exist. To be there, and no longer just someone that no one remembers withen 3 days of meeting them.

You can’t understand how many people I remember that have no idea who in the hell I am. It sucks, having a good memory.

I shall write another blog in a few minutes, about a different topic than just trying to tell you who I am.

I plan to post songs as often as I can. I’ll start with one that’s on my mind:

Thanks for reading,

Katie

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Hello world!

October 8, 2009 at 11:01 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

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